Throughout Shakespeare's time, he wrote many plays and sonnets that reflect his time's dominating issues. Too specific. This needs to be broader, i.e. "Plays often reflect the prescient issues of their period." The Merchant of Venice written by William Shakespeare in 1596 - 1598 is a play that addresses the issues of law, antisemitism and sexuality. Start of this sentence was good, signposting the play, but just spitting out ideas should not be done like this. Should be an idea a sentence, to which you can link the relevant aspects of the play that supports this. e.g. "The MOV offers insight to how {{insert time period}} European society, through its faculties of justice, treated specific groupings and denominations. Through the personal dialogue the audience receives with Shylock, Shakespeare conveys how the dominant issue of anti-semitism proliferated at the time... {{two more sentences per idea}}" Shakespeare lived in the Elizabethan period,the period where Queen Elizabeth the 1st reigned ~~In the Elizabethan era, ~~NN. "where" Europe was a Christian-dominated W place. Today, modern readers still read and study Shakespeare's works. NN A modern reader is a person who is reading Shakespeare's works after 2020. Defining what a reader is is very odd Issues and themes like antisemitism and sexuality still hold relevance in modern readers and modern society, through the current issues in the world relating to discrimination against the Jewish and LGBTQ+ community. **NN. Better to split this into 3 distinct sentences that discuss each separate idea
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In the Merchant of Venice, Way too generic. Try to actually describe how the play does things in the topic sentence. i.e. "Through the character of Shylock, {{}}" the issue~~, antisemitism,~~ W. Does not read very well. "The issue of antisemitism" is fine. still holds relevance to modern readers as seen through how the play addresses repeating yourself. How does the play address this? the issue and issues in modern day. Antisemitism is the discrimination against the Jewish people. Good that you are giving context. In the play, in Repetitive with "in". W Act 1 Scene 3, Shylock says, "You call me misbeliever, cut-throat dog, And spit upon my Jewish gaberdine," to Antonio when he is talking about how Antonio insults Shylock's Jewish faith. Little picky since you are a yr 9 but these quotes should be integrated better. Quality of essay is improved by giving the reader somewhat of a background for the quote, and not jumping straight into it. For example, "in the play we are introduced to Shylock, who, upon his confrontation with Antonio, he labels him a "misbeliever, cut-throat dog" who "spit[s] upon [his] Jewish gaberdine"." "Spitting" upon his Jewish culture is an act of discrimination as it is insulting the culture. Stating the obvious, while not describing any language features. Here is where it is essential to state them, they make up quite a lot of the marking key! A modern day example of antisemitism is when in 2022 W, a woman physically and verbally abused a man after seeing his Star of David necklace. The Star of David is a symbol of the Jewish people, and since the woman abused the man because of this, it is antisemitism.NN Both the example from the text and the recent examples are examples of antisemitism, therefore showing the issue of antisemitism is still relevant in today's society. You have listed only one quote, and did not describe any language features or how those features relate to the question. You will not get marks for modern context, ONLY if these modern allusions reflect YOUR interpretation, i.e. "As a contemporary reader, the treatment of Shylock is reminiscent to how {{thing you were talking about}}". However, the way you have phrased it here shows the marker you don't understand that this is only to further round out your essay qualitatively, which is not what you need in this case. (you need quotes!!!! and analysis!!!)
In the Merchant of Venice,Repetitive and too generic. the issue~~, sexuality,W still holds relevance in , the issue, sexuality~~ W modern readers repetitive, alternatively "contemporary audiences". You should note that for plays, "readers" is not the term used. We use "audience" or "viewers". through how the play treats the themes of sexuality and current world views on it. With what language feature? In the play, in Act 4 Scene 1,W Bassanio statestop ten words teachers hate: state, describe, explains. vocab needs work: "I would lose all, ay, sacrifice them all, Here to this devil, to deliver you." while he is in the court scene, before Antonio is about to be killed by Shylock. Bassanio also mentions his wife a few lines before the quote above, never do this(state the lines). It degIn the play, in Act 4 Scene 1,rades the readability of the essay. The marker has eyes, they can tell whether a quote is a few lines below and such. Also, its quite meaningless here. You don't want to waste words writing things that don't mean much, or even worse, things that detract from your overall essay. which suggests that he loves Antonio more than his wife, as he is giving up everything, including his wife, to save Antonio. In the Elizabethan era, being a Christian-dominated England me when he becomes the country of england, gay behaviour and marriage was not approved.that's it? you pointed out a quote, and made generic statements about society, which are not backed up by that quote. You need to use language features to describe how Shakespeare conveys these "generic statements" via the quote. In Act 1 Scene 1W, Antonio says "My purse, my person, my extremist means, All lie unlock'd to your occasions." These two lines lines? AAAAAAAAA suggest that Antonio is willing to do anything the assistenglish Bassanio and his goals. This is usually not a casual statement, and this kind of sacrifice only happens in love.NN. Where are the language features? Through these two pieces of evidencethis would be the perfect time to actually state some language features, readers can make the conclusionW that Antonio and Bassanio are gaythis is sort of personal preference, but that is a very bold assumption. it kinda shows to the marking key that you don't really understand the context of that time period. Shakespeare didn't write about these things, and this conclusion seems forced. Also, the overarching idea (that timeperiod discriminated against minorities, in this case the LGBTQ+) is lost, even when the law does not allow W. In the modern day, LGBTQ+ is widely accepted in society, although in some areas of the world, gay and lesbian marriage is still illegal. NN, W This has relevance to modern society as the world is still trying to figure out what to do with gay and lesbian couples and their intentions to wed, especially when most most couples are wed by the Christian church NN, W. How does any of this relate to the play? You are shoving context which is not what you need now. You need analysis of quotes. Regardless, if this was a deeper, explorative sentence, it needs to be worded better and related to YOUR CONTEXT. i.e. you need to SPECIFICALLY state something along the lines of "From my context as an {{}}". Thereforestill holds relevance in the modern society through the mirrored issues within both the text and the real world.There is no idea in this sentence, or this entire essay. I am very confused. If I knew the question, maybe then I could try to understand what you were doing but in general I have no clue. Essay structure is roughly fine, just your topic sentences were a little weak and you should integrate your quotes better. Your analysis is non-existent. You would get no marks for that section of the marking key. Context is meant to ENHANCE your argument, not LITERALLY BE THE ENTIRE ARGUMENT. Course concepts? Not found. Issues was what I'm assuming was in the question, but your essay mentioned it by name only, and never actually showed you understood what an "issue" is in the context of literature/english. If i was marking this essay (which thankfully i am not, i would be a very bad lit teacher), i would give a 2 for engagement with the question, 1 for course concepts, 2 for use of evidence solely cause there was no analysis, 0 for linguistic, stylistic and critical terminology since there literally was none, and 3 for expression for ideas. Solid 8/30, which, since this is from a yr 11 marking key, i guess would correlate to 16/30 in yr 9?? maybe 20/30?? i dunno
